One of the most desired things in life for most people if not everyone, is for pain to be non-existent; a world filled with nothing but peace, happiness and satisfaction. A utopia kind of world you would say.
Is it possible to live a life without pain? And if so, how?
It is often claimed that pain is a universal constant. It exists whether you like it or not, whether you’re extremely poor or wealthy, healthy or sick, depending on your level of tolerance, it is there. American author Mark Manson in one of his books stated that:
“Pain is the universal constant of the human condition. Therefore, the attempt to move away from pain; to protect oneself from all harm, can only backfire. Trying to eliminate pain only increases your sensitivity to suffering, rather than alleviating your suffering.”
In this generation we see many trying to avoid this necessary emotion, evident from the many quotes you see on the internet that try to justify being emotionless. That because you were hurt at one point when younger, you should now avoid being vulnerable, open and loving.
Honestly, at some point, I thought the same after a series of heartbreaks left me questioning whether offering yourself to the possibility of being hurt was worth it. However, avoiding love in this instance is similar to spraining your ankle once and being content with never walking again, sounds dumb, doesn't it?
Pain is necessary because it lets you identify where a problem is and what you can do to rectify it or how to get help.
Perhaps right now you need money, then you get it but start worrying about how you will spend it and thinking of when you will get the next cheque.Or maybe you want a partner, there he/she is, now what? I have to commit, I have to be consistent in my communication lest I risk losing him/her.....
The thing is, trying to avoid pain is trying to avoid emotion and just like Mark Manson said, you are a human and that comes with feelings;h that is what humanity is all about. When you try to be emotionless, you are trying to be an animal, a beast that cares about nothing but itself. Just because pain exists, it does not mean you have to suffer, pain and suffering may seem indistinguishable but they are two different things.
Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said that
"To live is to suffer, to survive is to find something worth suffering for.”
It is all about learning to pick the right battles, identifying those skills that will help you conquer your troubles.
There is this story about a monk who set himself on fire as he sought to achieve equal rights for the Buddhists in Vietnam, ever heard of it? Thich Quang Duc was the name of this great leader who set on changing the destiny of his country. The Buddhists in Vietnam were facing persecution from the Roman Catholic government led by the then President Diem and despite several protests, their pleas were never heard.
One day, Duc led a group of protests where he calmly walked out of a car, got on the meditation pose also known as lotus position and had a member pour gasoline on him, then lit a match and set himself on fire as thousands watched in shock.
What is amazing is that the guy did not flinch, didn’t even move a single muscle, he stayed in that position until the fire completely ravaged him. I cannot stand a mere pinch, what of fire? I would scream and run like crazy.
The point here is, it seems like it is possible to tolerate pain even to extreme levels like that. We all have our thresholds. One might think catching a cold is the end of the world, to another that is nothing. It is clear that the strength is in our minds, how we perceive a particular situation determines how we will handle it, and the good news is anything can be dealt with.
There is no option, no escape but there is a solution, and where a solution seems improbable, there is a lesson to be learnt.
It is not your fault that you are human, ever since you were a child you felt things indicating that it is a default setting in you, we only grow and learn how to direct our feelings in such a way that they will not damage us and those around us.
Continue to embrace that humanity in you!
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