Self-care means different things for different people.
Perhaps upon you seeing the title of this post, your mind went to thinking about being in a spa somewhere getting a Swedish massage, or being somewhere on a holiday at peak relaxation. I would in fact absolutely recommend the both of these, but today's post will focus on other forms of self-care.
Setting Boundaries
Boundaries have to do with limiting access. Demarcating clearly that this is a space no one else can be let it or cross over to. Boundaries are healthy and necessary. You can set boundaries for all aspects of your life.
Workplace : your boundaries can look like not accepting to do last minute tasks when it's already past working hours unless it's truly an emergency (which can't be daily ). Simply say that you will start on that particular task the next day.
Personal relationships : your boundaries can look like not accepting phone calls late into the night. Not entertaining people who come over unannounced. It can really be anything. Those things you feel deeply irritate you but you've kept on entertaining - it's about time you communicated and set those boundaries.
Honouring and respecting yourself
Know your worth and don't sit in and entertain treatment that's less than.
I had a conversation with someone over a week ago. Let's call the person V. So V and I have a conversation and something is said that I didn't like. I laughed it out (using emojis) but deep down I was truly unsettled. I was hurt but I didn't say it. A few days later I brought it up and was honest about how I felt. I remembered that I had affirmed that this month, my feelings are valid. Therefore, if I felt hurt, disappointed or whichever emotions they were valid and acknowledging that was me honouring and respecting myself. It was my truth.
I highly recommend this. Don't let things just slip away because you don't to create a rift or lie as a way of "avoiding conflict".
Honour and respect yourself enough to come to terms with how you feel and with who you are.
Respecting your time
Have you ever actually waited for someone at a restaurant for 3 hours ? I have played that waiting game one too many times. Arrival : find a good cozy location and get comfortable. 5 mins later : the waiter brings you the menu. You flip around the pages knowing fully well you don't intend to order until the person arrives so when he/she comes to take your order, you tell them you're waiting for someone and you'll order when they get there.
30 minutes in : the waiter has been circling round and finally comes back to your table. This time, you decide you'll order a drink and sip as you wait. You can only drink that small glass of juice for so long. It's already over an hour and the person you're waiting for hasn't arrived ?
What keeps you there you ask ? They've told you they're literally going to be there in the next minute.
Okay, then maybe you should start checking out the food menu ....
The waiting game continues.
I believe that allowing someone to access my time is a privilege and as such that privilege can and should be withdrawn as necessary. You don't need to play these waiting games.
“There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves and remember that it is enough to be taken care of by myself.”
Brian Andreas
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